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"He assaulted me and I had to defend myself. It was self-defense, but I was sentenced to 12 years in prison. Because there is no justice in this country. I waited so long, but justice was not served for me...
"It was horrible... My life was ruined in an instance, I saw the world in black and white. I thought that my life was over."
The incident described by musician Raperîn in above words was reported in the press as follows: "The murder date in room no. 401 in İstanbul!"
In the related incident, Raperîn killed a man named Cüneyt Pala, a photographer who swindled her and blackmailed her with photographs. It was an act of self-defense, but she was given 12.5 years in prison.
Sent to Bakırköy Women's Prison in İstanbul in June 2018, Raperîn lost her 12-year-old daughter Berfin. She could not even attend the funeral.
Temporarily released from prison "due to pandemic conditions" around two months ago, Raperîn has reunited with her audience on social media. "I have never cut off my contact with music or my audience," she says.
Raperîn, whose name is Dilek Demir in her ID card, has released three albums so far: Tarûmar (blown away), Xapînok (deluded), Rê~newa (path of melody). Let's hear her story in her words...
'Music heals my wounds'
"Raperîn means revolt, in terms of both meaning and content. I am a 35-year-old woman who has devoted her life to music. I was born in Van, but I can say that I grew up in İzmir. I was away from my culture and language. I am doing music in my mother language that I have learnt later on.
"If someone asks me what the meaning of life is, I say 'music.' It has such a vital place. I have been singing since high school. Even before that... I can cure my sorrows with music. It is like an ointment. It is to such an extent... It is like a miracle, it heals my wounds whenever it touches.
'I did not want to kill on purpose'
"I do not want to talk about the incident again because it hurts me over and over again. But it should be known that I did not kill that person knowingly. He is a swindler and a harasser of kids. And, to top it all, an assaulter.
"He assaulted me and I had to protect myself. It was self-defense, but I was sentenced to 12 years. Because there is no justice in this country. I waited too long, but that justice has not been served for me.
"That night was horrible... My life was ruined in an instance, I saw the world in black and white. I thought that my life was over.
'There was a prisoner who had botox done'
"I was staying in a temporary ward in prison. There were drug addicts and they were having a fit. They were attacking. There was no place to sleep and no food was given. It is a horrible place and a horrible feeling. I do not want to even remember it.
"Afterwards, I stayed in an "elite" ward, as the director of the institution put in. [Musician] Deniz Seki was there, too. She was the master of the ward. I cannot forget the special treatment that was done to her.
"She did not live like a convict. Whatever she had, it was not owned by anybody else there. She even had botox done. She had a special room. Everything was so weird...
"Prison conditions were hard. People were hard. Living together was hard. I had so many hardships. But I read and wrote a lot. I passed that time productively. That is what I think. I wished that I would have been specially treated like Deniz Seki, as I am also an artist. But, apparently, things are different when you are a Kurdish musician.
"I have changed a lot after prison. There has been quite a change in me. I have settled down, I have got tired, I have changed, I have been exhausted and consumed. Is it possible that these two Raperîns are the same? They are like two different persons...
"I see that, in fact, not a single day has come between me and my audience. I thought that I would be forgotten and got really unhappy about it, but it is not what happened. They were always by my side. Especially with letters...
'My audience have brought me back to life'
"Yes, I had been musically distant from them. I am trying to make up for it as fast as possible with new works. I composed a lot. And I have immediately started singing them. I hope that I will not be away from them again. Because they have brought me back to life...
"Male violence is the common problem of this society. It cannot be solved in any way. Unless violence is replaced by love and respect, it will go on.
"Violence against women will end not thanks to laws, but a change in mentality. My only wish is this: I wish it ends. Death of women and rapes are so common now that they do not even draw the attention of several people. We have been desensitized. Of course, I have projects about it.
'I try to hold on to life with music'
"My daughter Berfin... My little butterfly has left me. This grief is beyond description, it is persistent. Believe me, I am not strong. But I had to stand for those left behind. It is a really difficult process and a grief for life. But life goes on. And I am trying to hold on to life with music..."
What happened?In her letter from prison, Dilek Demir (Raperîn) told about the incident in following words: "A catalogue photographer named Sarkis Margosyan contacted me on social media. He told me that he was working for world-renowned brands. I learnt his real name from the police on the day of the incident. If you became the face of brands, you would be known worldwide, he said. My husband, a lawyer himself, knew about our meetings and conversations. "We had three professional photo shoots. He was supposed to take only the picture of my face. We paid 50,000 lira as he said 'We are signing a contract with Prada.' He was telling me to compose my poems, saying we would make an album. Then I understood that I had been swindled. 'Whenever I need it, you will give me money. Don't you know something called photomontage,' he said. "I was depressed, I turned in on myself. Gülşah was swindled, too. She was going to meet him. We would take our pictures and money and hand the man over to the police. Gülşah met the man in a hotel room. I was waiting outside. When Gülşah texted me, 'Sis, he will rape me, come and save me,' I entered the room. When the man saw me, he turned into a monster. He hit my head against the wall several times. I thought about my daughter. I took the fruit knife out of my pocket and waved it... I kissed my daughter, saying 'I will come back tomorrow, honey.' I could not." For killing 41-year-old Cüneyt Pala, who swindled and blackmailed them, Dilek Demir and Gülşah Çat were sentenced to 12 years, 6 months in prison. While Şat was released in 2019, Demir was released on June 21, 2020. |
(EMK/SD)
